


PB&J Sandwich

by MegaFrost4



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Tower, Comedy of Errors, Domestic Avengers, Domestic Fluff, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:42:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29793474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MegaFrost4/pseuds/MegaFrost4
Summary: What starts off as a fun weekend turns absolutely terrifying. And it's all Loki's fault...or is it? EheheheheheheOriginally Published: 5/25/15, Updated: 9/10/15
Relationships: Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

It was 3:06 A.M., and it was, albeit somewhat, quiet at Avengers Tower as Tony was ravaging through the kitchen. He was absolutely starving! It had been, what, 30 hours since his last emergence from his lab? Steve would be so proud.

All the genius had on his mind right now was peanut butter and jelly. And for some reason, the glow of his reactor was not enough light to find the ingredients. Tony knew better than to turn on the lights without warning in the middle of the night. Living with two assassins, a naive demigod with his evil brother or whatever, a supernanny, and raging green monster, he had learned his lesson the hard way of how his roommates reacted when things went "bump in the night."

"At long last..." What seemed like ten minutes later, the last of the ingredients, the creamy peanut butter, was found. Honestly, why does Clint insist on crunchy? That was like preferring an iPad over a Stark Tablet... _stupid_. He held a farewell ceremony to the prehistoric disappointment of what Jobs calls new tech, and dared any of the others to purchase one on one of his credit cards ever again. He had an image to keep!

After spreading the perfect amount of creamy peanut butter on one side and grape jelly on the other, Tony congratulated himself with a song and dance on making the perfect sandwich.

"HeyHeyHeyHeyHey..." He slipped his shirt back on, not needing the light any more.

"HeyHeyHeyHeyHAAAAAAAAA!" Tony turned white as a sheet at none other than the god of mischief himself...

"Good evening." Loki smiled, hair in a tangled mess, wearing a black tshirt and green pajama pants. "Isn't it past your bed time? I'm sure the Captain would not approve."

Tony rolled his eyes, trying to act like the last five seconds never happened. "I'll have you know, I'm just following Captain's orders." He showed his sandwich to the god.

"Yes, I see. What a nutritious and delectable choice." Loki snarled at the disgusting thing Tony was eating.

"Haters gonna hate." Tony smirked as he brushed past the confused god, who was trying to decipher the meaning behind that phrase.

* * *

Steve woke up at 4:55 sharp. He went down to the floor of the Tower dedicated to training, and went through his usual morning routine. Afterwards, he showered and sketched a while next to his huge window in his personal suite Tony had designed for each of the Avengers. Even Loki had his own next to Thor's, much to Loki's dismay and Thor's delight.

At 7:30, Steve headed down to the kitchen located on the main living floor of the tower. He started making breakfast for everyone, as he was the only one who even bothered with learning how to cook. He started making the pancake batter...he hated using the kind that came in the box...since he knew he and Thor and, well, arguably, Clint all had huge appetites.

Shortly after 8:00, Steve heard the ding of the elevator, letting him know of the arrival of his earliest riser.

"Good morning, Bruce."

The doctor smiled, bags under his eyes. "Morning Steve. I'm gonna make some coffee." Steve smiled and continued making breakfast. Now, he had learned a lot about the 21st century, but the coffee was still a challenge, so he opted out of that responsibility. Tony, Loki, and Thor almost killed him after he ruined their morning over his shitty coffee he tried to make for him. Bruce decided to take over from then on.

Natasha silently just appeared in the barstool next to Bruce, but since, she was quiet, it did not phase him the least. They greeted each other respectively, then Bruce went back to the crossword puzzle as Natasha stirred her tea. Steve was also grateful for the fact that they still had crossword puzzles. It's little things, they say.

Loki was next to enter the kitchen, heading straight for the coffee. Nobody said a word. He was _not_ a morning person. He seated himself at the end on the other side of Bruce so he would not have to sit next to his obnoxiously noisy and grotesquely messy brother. A mug floated out of the cabinet and over to the coffee machine and poured itself before floating over to the somber god.

Clint and Thor stumbled in, literally, apparently chasing each other for no apparent reason. Loki rolled his eyes and continued to add the necessary amounts of cream and sugars to make his coffee perfect.

"GOOD MORNING MY FRIENDS! TIS ANOTHER SPLENDID SATURDAY!"

Clint stuck a finger in his ear, far too sensitive from the thunderous voice, pun intended. He sat down next to Natasha, Steve giving him his coffee. Thor seated himself after making his own coffee in the largest cup anybody had ever seen. He loved the red cup with his hammer and a lightning bolt on it so much, he quickly learned if he wanted another, not to slam it on the ground, because it was a one-of-a-kind. He would instead ask Steve for a refill.

At around 9:30, after Steve had served everyone, he went to Tony's room to wake him up. This was like Mission Impossible with no happy ending. He knocked three times, and he could hear some shuffling on the other side of the door.

" _Sir is indeed almost completely conscious at the moment. I mentioned to him that Dr. Banner has made coffee, and that made it easier for him to get dressed. Sir would also like me to tell you, Captain Rogers, that he had successfully made and completely consumed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich this morning at 3:47 before falling asleep. I thought you would appreciate hearing Sir's latest accomplishment._ "

"That's great. Thank-you, JARVIS."

Steve headed back to the kitchen to make Tony and himself a plate. Thor had already found a box of Pop tarts, strawberry flavored, to add to his meal. After Steve was about halfway through with his large helping of pancakes, Tony dragged himself in, sitting down between Clint and Steve. He started with his black coffee to arouse him before starting on his waffles.

Everyone continued on with their breakfast as they did every other morning. Only this, weekend, nobody had any plans, so it was going to be a nice, relaxing weekend at Avengers Tower...

_Right..._


	2. Chapter 2

"I thought nobody had plans this weekend?" Tony looked up from his Starkpad, confused to see Natasha and Clint geared up, heading for the elevator.

"Don't worry, Daddy, we'll be home by curfew!" Clint pitched his voice to that of a small boy while Natasha just rolled her eyes. Tony's answer was just a pillow almost hitting the archer...almost...Clint threw it back and hit the genius smack in the face.

Tony huffed, relaxing back into his comfy position. "Now I can have a peace of mind knowing I won't be a victim to their ghost-likeAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Tony jumped off the couch and crawled on all fours about three feet away from the couch before turning around. "Oh God...you..."

"Ehehehehe...of course, me!" Loki laughed as the illusional snake disappeared after hissing at Tony. Loki then picked up the tablet and started playing with it.

"Hey, that's mine!" Tony whined. To his relief, Steve walked in and sat down on a chair placed at the corner of the couch in the circular living room. He did not even bother messing with the two's bickering. It was drowned out as he opened up his sketch pad.

"Ehehehe..."

"Steeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve...make him stop."

"Tony, it's nice to share."

"Ok, first off, he almost murdered me with a snake, then stole my tablet, and most importantly, he has one! It even has his name on it!"

"Oh, but Tony, teasing you is so much more fun than following the rules..." Loki just continued tapping away. Tony just sat on the floor and pouted.

Then he perked up with an idea. "Fine, _be_ that way..." He got up and headed for the lab. " _Immature, mischievous lil' prick_."

"Language."

"STEEEEEEEEEEVE!"

* * *

Loki and Steve continued minding their own business in the living room as if nothing happened. All was well until they heard a shriek of terror that was awfully high-pitched. And then...

**_BOOM!_ **

"Dear Odin, give me strength." Loki rubbed his temples a little too hard, reddening his pale skin.

Steve shot up, forgetting his sketch pad as the Asgardian ran into the room.

"My friends, I hate to say this, but the battle is over, and Anthony has suffered a severe casualty." Nobody said a word, Loki just staring at him, having no idea what his "brother" was talking about.

"What's going on, Thor?"

"Well, Steven, I was grooming my locks when all of a sudden, I heard this voice tell me to 'Surrender LOREAL or perish!' Well, I would never do that, but it startled me enough that I released Mjolnir to the source of my terror..."

"What was it?"

"It was my dryer of hair."

"It...spoke?" Steve could not fathom an appliance, running on some form of electricity, talking. "Are you drunk again?"

"Nay! Not since last night on the rooftop with Clinton." Thor paused, and stared at his brother. " _Loki_."

"Don't look at me. I've been here all afternoon. Ask Steven." Steve nodded, deeming Loki innocent, for once.

"Very well." Thor gripped Mjolnir tight. "I will have words with Anthony when he emerges from his cave of men." Loki just facepalmed as the blonde stormed out...literally. A storm came, blackening out the sky.

"Thor is not amused."

"Steven, you have no idea how much more mature he has become." Loki snickered. "I remember one time I cut off just a little lock of hair, and he leveled my entire chamber because of his temper."

Steve stared back and quickly returned his dazed look at the trickster. "Let's just hope we don't have to go through that."

"Again..."

* * *

"Dr. Banner, I presume!" Tony entered the lab, all cheerful, heading straight to the coffee pot. He had quickly gotten over the tablet incident. "Let's science!"

"One second, Tony." Bruce was taking great care of something Tony could not see, hunched over a microscope. Being nosy, Tony snuck over to glance a peak at what the doctor was working on.

"W-wha-AH! Tony, I told you never to sneak up behind me! The Other Guy hates that!"

"But he loves me. Seriously, not in the lab, but you should bring him out more. Point Break really wants to wrestle with the Big Guy, and I would love to be cheering for him on the sidelines, since I'm his number one."

"Tony, I appreciate you guys accepting him, but I don't want to chance anything. Too many things could go wrong."

"But Bruce, he can talk! He's become more of a teddy bear than ever before!" Tony paused a second. "JARVIS, when was the last incident code green?"

" _Three weeks and eighteen and a half hours ago and counting, Sir._ "

"Thank-you." Tony bowed mockingly, applauding himself.

Bruce just shook his head. "What are we gonna do with you?"

"Well, I wouldn't recommend cuddling, because the Big Guy is a mean hugger...a little too bone-crushing if you know what I mean." Bruce just laughed.

The two scientists continued messing around the lab for the rest of the day until Steve used his over-ride code to bring them up for some dinner.

"Clint and Natasha brought home takeout from China."

"Like China the country or China the crappy oriental so-called restaurant three blocks down?"

"The country."

"I'm in." Tony threw the wrench behind him.

Bruce winced at the crash. "That actually sounds really good. Haven't been to China in a while."

* * *

Dinner was in the living room tonight, since they had planned on a movie night. Much to Steve's dismay, they all sat on the nice couches with sauces and rice flying everywhere as Thor was not the neatest eater.

"Hey! Barbie!" Tony called the god out, who paused with a mouthful. "I'm not having the couches cleaned for another two days, so please try to keep them somewhat decent. To his horror, Thor snorted, spilling his soy sauce all over the couch...and Loki.

Loki gave him a glare as Thor just laughed. "What is that saying? Oh yes, what goes round, comes back hither to smite you in the arse!" Clint was holding his stomach, leaning on Natasha, not able to breathe from the laughing.

"Oh, you think that's funny? Well, change of plans kids, we are watching The Exorcist, and Capsicle, honey, if you need to come hold my hand, you can come sit right next to me...I'll protect you."

"Tony, if it's another Planet of the Apes, I quit." Clint said.

"I actually enjoyed seeing apemen walking around with spears and hunting. It was rather entertaining!"

"You would like that, since you are nothing but a gorilla, a stupid one at that..." Loki whispered that last part so Thor could not hear it.

"Why thank-you, Brother!"

"Steve, I will spare you the science fiction for a while since you can't wrap your brain around it. I want you to see something you never got to see growing up. I will scare the hell out of you-"

"Language."

"-and you will become known as Captain Spangles the Fearless by the time I'm done with you!"

"Oh boy..." Natasha sighed, knowing this was going to be a long night.

Steve shuffled a little on his spot on the couch, since he was squished between two gods.

"Steven, if you are frightened, I will be here to fight the fears alongside you!"

"No, that's ok, Thor."

"Very well." Thor stood up, and motioned Steve over. Steve scooted, much to Loki's dismay, and found himself next to Tony. "Now Anthony will be close by in case you need him when you are overcome with fear."

"Thanks, Thor." Steve fought the blush as Tony patted him on the back.

"Lights, JARVIS."

" _Of course, Sir. And enjoy the movie_."


	3. Chapter 3

Surprisingly to Tony, Steve did not ask a lot of questions during the movie. This would have been a relief, had it not been for when the movie took a turn for the worse as far as terrifying goes. Even Thor and Loki were a little disturbed.

"Nonononono..." Steve held onto a pillow as if it was a life raft and he did not have the serum to help him. "D-don't go in there...they don't have to go in there, do they? I-"

"Brother..."

Thor turned to Loki, pleased to hear him being called that, but frowned as he saw Loki paler and more stoic than normal. "Are you afraid?" Thor whispered.

Loki did not answer. He just silently nodded.

The music was terrifying. The suspense was killing the group. Tony had seen the movie like a million times, but he still got a little nervous. What scared him was when Steve would literally jump, knocking the popcorn off of Tony's lap, and replacing his half of his body on the genius' left side. Tony grabbed him at the same time the soldier literally leapt into his arms. It would have looked so cute and hilarious to the others had they not have jumped a little in their seats as well.

"Tony…"

Tony cut his eyes to Steve. "Mhm?"

"I don't like this movie at all…" Steve swallowed. "And I get all these references…"

"Did everybody hear that?" Tony called out above the demon's voice. "Grandpa actually knows what's going on. He should get a medal of honor."

"SHUT UP!" Clint hated it when people talked during movies. That was why he was perched up on top of a desk in the back corner of the living room.

Nobody was surprised the archer was "nesting" elsewhere. He did not like tight spaces with people…just tight spaces made for himself. Bruce was calm, having seen the movie a few times himself. By now, he was used to being around his teammates, so he was not jumpy, and the Other Guy saw no reason to make an entrance.

After the movie ended, Tony tried to think of a way to cheer everyone up when it came to him. "BRB..." He got up and left the room. Steve reached for the pillow again for something secure. Natasha seemed bored, unfazed. Of course, nothing scared her.

"I did not enjoy this movie. Not enough of my kind of warfare." Thor pouted, thinking to himself that he would have rather seen another ape movie.

"Midgardians are very disturbing. I would have to agree with Thor, for once." Loki seemed relieved it was over.

"Yeah, ok, I just wanted to scare Capsicle. I had no idea Asgardians were not immune to fear." Tony came back with a big bottle of whiskey and a tray of glasses. "Let's clear our minds of the magical horrors of awful and out-dated special effects, shall we?"

They all indulged themselves, but somehow in the midst of it all, Loki had disappeared.

"Is it time for the Rock of Ages to call it a night?" Tony asked, already halfway through his second helping.

"My brother does enjoy his alone time." Thor said, not at all phased by the Midgardian drink. He pulled out some of his ancient Asgardian ale, and poured it into his glass. "He can only take so much of you…no offense, Anthony."

"None taken." Tony took another sip.

"I'm bored…" Clint whined from his nest.

"Well, then, go entertain yourself." Natasha did not even look his way as she lectured him. "There's plenty of tech around here to mess with. Stark can afford it."

"Hey, no one touches anything unless they are completely aware of my specific instructions!"

"Riiiiiiight…like Loki with the toaster?"

"I can't help it some of you are incapable of learning something as elementary as feeding yourselves. I can't and will not be anyone's Mommy." Tony downed his glass and reached to pour another.

"Tony…I think you've had enough…" Steve pointed out.

"You know what, Steve? I can put that movie back on? Or better yet…The Shining! Your head will be spinning so fast, it will fly off, and you will be so scared on top of it. Don't push me!"

Steve could not help but laugh. Drunk Tony was a sight, he had to admit.

"I'm going to turn in for the night." Bruce got up to leave.

"Oh, c'mon you big green baby! The night is still young!"

"It's 12:54."

"Exactly! I-" The lights flickered for a second before leaving the mansion in total darkness. "JARVIS?"

No answer.

"Brother!" Thor caught Loki as he tripped over a pillow on the floor. "I thought you were sleeping?"

"Couldn't sleep. My mind was wondering through the horrors of Midgard when the lights flickered and shut off."

"I swear to you, Anthony, Mjolnir is not to blame, as there is no storm outside to cause such damage."

"Well, team, I hate to say this, but…" Tony eyed everyone seriously. "The Tower has another resident…"

"What?"

"What I mean to say is…we have a ghost."

"Very funny, but even I know there's no such thing as ghosts." Steve smiled knowingly, thinking he was able to prove to Tony that he could not trick him this time.

"Oh yeah, Mister Big Shot? Well, I'll tell you what. You come with me to the garage and we'll check the fuse box. If we do not find a ghost, then I will withhold myself from the lab for an entire day."

"Fair enough."

"But if there is a ghost, and I know there is because I am always right, then you have to watch a marathon of every single Planet of the Apes film, including the new franchise they came out with a couple years ago with NO complaining."

Steve sighed. "Deal." They shook hands on it.

"OK, kids, don't kill each other and make this a Murder Mystery Dinner Party. Hey! We should do that next weekend!"


	4. Chapter 4

Clint gave up on life and went up through the ceiling and into the vents. The power was out, so he could not watch any TV.

Damn.

Natasha thought about joining him, but decided against it. She knew all he was going to do was gripe. So she toook advantage of the now-empty living room. She stretched out on the sofa and closed her eyes. But the smell from the remains of their dinner was making her nauseous, so she retreated to her room where she knew she would be left alone. Those boys were up to no good, and she knew it.

Bruce had decided to go to bed anyway. He somehow knew this was going to be an interesting night. And he did not want the Other Guy to be a part of it. Putting on his headphones, he turned on some Bach to relax before going to sleep.

Thor and Loki wanted to go with Steve and Tony to search for this ghost. Steve still thought Tony was just trying to scare them. They went down the elevator and entered the garage. Although it was dark, they could still see that there were a lot of sports cars.

"Anthony, why must you have so many means of transportation?" Thor was confused. He thought there was only need for one.

"I cannot go out driving the same car two days in a row!" He sounded offended. "That's like wearing the same jacket twice in a month!" Tony made another mental note to take the crew shopping again. He had noticed Thor taking a liking to his "new" black leather jacket, and wore it a lot. He was not about to let his fellow Avengers make him look bad. He had an image to keep up.

Tony checked the power, fiddling with things here and there, then slammed it shut. "SHIT!"

"Language."

"Hey, since you're so 'high and mighty', why don't you fix it?" Tony presented it to Steve. "I'll give you a hint, it _does_ run on electricity."

Steve just raised an eyebrow, then laughed. "Very funny. If you don't even let me change the channel on the TV, why would you want me looking at this?"

"I don't know, Gramps. Maybe you just might have heard of electricity from where you came from."

"What's the matter, Stark? Afraid of the dark?" Loki teased.

"No. I was only trying to protect all of my children from the terrors of the night...and trying to show our good captain what happens when you piss me off."

Thor offered to help. "Maybe if I can-"

" _No._ " Tony was not going to have another repeat of last time Thor tried to help. He had to completely redo his kitchen.

"But Mjolnir-"

" _No_. I like my tower just the way it is."

"Pitch black?" Steve smiled.

"Yep." Tony just smiled back. "OK, this was boring. Let's go back upstairs."

"Where is the ghost?" Thor asked Loki.

Loki just shrugged.

The elevator opened them up to an empty living room. Well, except for the trash from the food and pillows and blankets thrown everywhere thanks to Steve who could not keep it together. Tony thought about hiring a maid. He was not their Mommy. What did they expect of him?

"You people are no fun, going to bed early. And what's worse! You leave this place an absolute disaster!" Tony was not happy. "I should ground you all from getting up before noon! No more TV!"

"Wait, let's not be rash." Thor was horrified.

"Yeah, you heard me! No more Downton Abbey..."

"No." Thor paled.

"Game of Thrones." Even Loki was shocked.

"No!"

"Doctor Who."

"NO!"

"And next year when Sherlock airs, I will cut the cable, so you will _never_ know how Moriarty survived."

"Tony, stop." Steve could see this escalating too quickly.

Thor was boiling. Loki was done now. "Anthony Stark, you puny, insignificant piece of-"

A piercing scream interrupted the obnoxious billionaire. Thor immediately summoned Mjolnir.

"Tony, did you get JARVIS to do that?" Steve was hoping this was just a trick.

Tony swallowed. "N-no..."

"OK..." This was not good.

"Lady Natasha is in trouble!" Thor was on edge, more so than usual. "We must go to her aid!"

"Wait, Thor." Loki grabbed his shoulder. "We must remain calm."

"Rock of Ages is right." Tony stated. "Let's go check around the tower for anything suspicious. Like her room." Tony shuddered. He did not want to know what was in there, but that is the first place to look for someone.

They crept down the hallway, Steve not too far behind Tony, who led the way. He was not going to lie to himself. He was a little nervous now. Maybe this was real, and not some kind of trick. They came up to her bedroom door. Tony pressed his ear to listen in, silently shushing the others. There was some muffled noises he could not make out. He held up a finger.

_One..._

They mentally prepared themselves for battle.

_Two..._

This was not a fun, relaxing weekend after all.

_Three!_

The door slammed open to find Natasha... _crying?_

Huddled in a corner, Natasha had tears in her eyes. Tears! And she was shaking like a leaf. Her eyes were darting everywhere.

"Natasha?" Steve knelt down in front of her. "What's wrong?"

Natasha did not answer, at first. She kept looking up at the ceiling then back at the group.

"He-he's...g-gone..."

"Who?"

She took a deep breath. "Clint..." She then sobbed.

Tony was not believing what he was seeing. The deadliest woman on earth, with supposedly up to this point, no emotions whatsoever, was crying. He decided right then and there it was the end of the world.

Loki showed no concern. He had a puzzled look on his face. "Where is he?"

"Brother, please, give her a moment." Thor put a hand out as if to calm his brother down.

"Well, we can't just stand around here all night doing nothing." He started to walk off. "We need to-"

" ** _RRRAAAAAAAWWWWWWRRRRRRRR!_** "

"Well, _shit_."


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm grounding the Hulk for a year." Tony said as they all raced towards Bruce's room. The door was still closed, but they could hear smashing and grunting.

"Should I get my shield?" Steve asked, just to be safe.

"I shall handle Dr. Banner." Thor stepped forward.

"With you making a bigger mess? I don't think so." Loki went to open the door, and much to everyone's surprise, they saw a lump in the bed with the lights off peacefully sleeping.

"That's...completely unexpected." Tony looked around, stumped. Did they not just hear the Hulk roar?

"Let's leave him alone." Steve whispered. "I don't wanna wake the real Hulk tonight."

"No need for that."

Everyone turned around, each giving off a little yelp, scared out of their skins.

"What the hell, Bruce?" Tony was holding his reactor protectively, trying to calm down.

"I do not understand." Thor had that confused puppy look.

Bruce just laughed. "I thought I would pull one over on you guys, since it seemed appropriate for a night such as this." He looked at Tony. "I had JARVIS help me with the recordings during the last incident, and he replayed it in my room."

"JARVIS?"

" _Guilty as charged, Sir. I quite enjoyed it, and have a filming of your misadventure_."

Tony faked wiping a tear. "You make your old man proud." He smiled up at JARVIS.

" _I live to serve, Sir._ "

"So this was all a trick?" Steve asked.

"Even I am quite impressed." Loki held out a hand, which Bruce shook. "Well done, Bruce Banner. You have caught the attention of the God of Mischief. Would you do me the honor of joining me on a trick in the future?"

"Uh...yeah, sure. Thanks."

"I'll never hear the end of this one." Tony rolled his eyes.

"We still have to find Clint." Steve pointed out. "Even though this was a trick, he's still missing, and I know Natasha...she was telling the truth."

"Spangles is right. Let's keep looking for-"

"Brother! Look out! Thor shoved Loki into the wall, his massive body shielding the smaller-framed god from the ceiling caving in.

"Tony." Steve looked just as scared as he was during the movie.

Everyone froze, staring at the lump on the floor. Blood was everywhere, and the smell was awful.

"What's going on, guys? Did you find-" Natasha gasped, her hands covering her mouth in shock. " _Clint?!_ " She turned him over on his back, feeling for a pulse, which was not there.

"JARVIS?" Tony stared at the body.

" _Can't pick up any life signs. Agent Barton has...been in this condition for quite some time now. I am deeply sorry, Ms. Romanoff._ "

Nobody said anything. How could a night of scary movies and pranks end up with the murder of one of their own?

"We stick together now." Steve turned on his military voice. "Nobody leaves this group for any reason. We find the killer, and bring justice to Clint." He did not get any rebuttal, as everyone followed Steve back to the living room to come up with a plan.

Natasha, forgetting the mess on the couch, slowly sat down, eyes searching somewhere far away.

"Anthony, I thought you said your Tower was impenetrable." Thor remembered Tony that there was no need for him to fly around the Tower all hours. JARVIS had the best security system.

"I did. JARVIS?"

" _I'm sorry, Sir, but I have not detected anything unusual in my system since that teenage hacker last week._ "

Tony was at a loss. Then he paled, suddenly grabbing a hold of Loki's shirt.

"I should have known it was you. Spending months in the Tower, trying to redeem yourself. People like you never change. This is low, even for you. Do you know how long it took for him to trust you, after what you did to him? I don't care that it was some alien mind trick. You killed an Avenger, my friend, a part of my fucked up family that is _mine_." Tony had a dark look on his face. Loki just remained unemotional. "You'll regret the day you first stepped foot on this planet."

 _"Can I have front row seat?_ "

"You know, you're not going to believe this, but I can still here that little bastard's voice. He may be a pain in the ass, but I liked him. He was a good man. He-"

"TONY!" Tony turned around and let go of Loki, who started bursting out laughing, along with Natasha and none other than Clint.

"You...but we... _Tony?_ " Steve's brain had finally fried. He cannot keep up with these people. He just cannot.

"I got y'all so bad!" Clint clapped his hands together. "And I could not have done it without the _stunning_ actress Natasha and the God of Mischief himself, who made all of this possible, Loki. You make a sick clone! High five!" Loki laughed and gave Clint a high five then they hugged, laughing their asses off.

" _You little shit._ " Tony lunged for him, but Steve grabbed him before he hurt himself.

"At ease, little soldier." Steve had a smile on his face.

"Brother, this was one of your best ones yet! You had us all in fear." Thor threw a hand on Loki's shoulder, and they both smiled at each other.

"Bruce, did you know about this?" Tony was hoping his best friend was not in on it.

"Someone had to play distraction before the big finale. I had to give Loki time to perfect the clone."

"Do I have a sign on my back that says 'mess with me'?"

Everyone laughed at that.

"JARVIS?"

" _Yes, Sir?_ "

"I take back what I said. No more tricks for you."

" _Understood, Sir. It was all good fun_."

"Whatever."

The elevator let out a "ding," announcing a guest to the Tower. The lights went on, and everyone screamed.

" _LOKI that's IT!_ " Tony was done now. He turned to look but Loki had collapsed into a heap of terror.

"Oh, it's not Loki's doing. I'm still here." Agent Phil Coulson walked forward with a smug look on his face. He was _alive_.

"Brother, I saw you kill him."

"Brother...I saw _myself_ kill him."

"Technology these days. The wonders of medicine." The shock was still written on everyone's faces.

"I think we've had enough surprises to have the right to go on hiatus for at least a month."

"Hiatus?" Steve asked Tony. Again, something new to learn.

"C'mon, Steve. I'm going to teach you everything you need to know..."

The night had come to a close. The Avengers visited with Phil for a while before all retiring to their rooms. The next day, they all woke up around 3:00 in the afternoon with boxes of pizza and a Sherlock marathon.

"Steve, are you crying?" Tony could not take much more of this weekend.

"No."

Tony gave him a look.

"It's just that, he should have said it. It's like Doomsday all over again. I'm still emotional about it all."

"Steve, you've seen this episode before."

"I know, but I always turn it off before-"

**_Didyoumissme?Didyoumissme?Didyoumissme?Didyoumissme?_ **

"Tony..." Steve paled. "Tell me that he's really not dead."

"Yes, my dear Rogers. But the question is _how_."

"I've gotta know."

"All in due time."

"No, like _now_."

"I'm sorry, Steve. I'm so so sorry."

Thor was even still impatient and emotional after seeing this episode again.

" _NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_ "

" _CURSE YOU MOFFAT! YOU WILL ANSWER TO ME, THE GOD OF MISCHIEF!_ "

Loki disappeared.

"Not again." Tony moaned. "Avengers. Operation Save Moffat until Season 4 airs is a go..." He paused, then got up and went to the kitchen. "But first, I just want to eat my damn peanut butter and jelly sandwich in peace."


End file.
